I Love you forever.. yeah well whatever happened to that?
Your the most amazing person ever... I guess thats why you turned your back.
I Will never ever leave you... Hmm Seems like your gone
Your my best friend... i guess thats why you dont even talk to me, I may as well have had never even been born.
It hurts when your loved one becomes A loved one.
It sucks when the memories you shared with someone were just so amazing,
That they pushed everything else out of your head,
And now when your trying to block out those memories because you are hurt,
You struggle because that is all that is in your head.
Every little action you take, triggers a memory.
Whether your lying in your bed, or snuggling up on the couch,
whether your making a cup of tea or just sitting there wondering in doubt.
Every little thing, EVERYTHING done, just sets off an emotional response in my mind.
I cant control it, i really wish i could,
Because its driving me crazy.
There is nothing worse when your dream becomes reality, but then it gets taken away from you again.
You feel taunted and faint.
Because you know what you want is right in front of you yet so far away.
Its crazy how our minds work.
If someone dies, it is the most unwelcome and painful experience which our body undertakes.
For very long periods of times you are mourning,
Its hard to grasp onto the fact that someone is gone forever.
However when someone has died, you know that they are gone forever.
That all you have left of them is their legacy to preserve and uphold. you cant change anything else.
Yet when someone is taken away from you, but is still living and breathing out there,
It is nowhere near as bad as experiecing a death of a loved one, but sometimes its more painful,
In the sense that you are so hurt when that person goes,
Yet its a lot harder to overcome because there is always that beacon of light in your mind telling you that you can get them back.
And that is the most painful thing.
Its just like being a little kid in a lolly store, imagine having to walk in everyday for a month as a 5 year old, and sit on a chair watching people come in and buy then eat lollies, but you cant have any yourself.
It would be terribly painful, there would be tantrums thrown, extreme sadness, tears, anything really.
And that is the exact same emotion experience by anyone who loses a loved one, in a non death sense.
Its horrendous.
Its hard to move on when you know you could still do work to fix it ,
Its even harder after youve learned from mistakes and know how to change yourself, and instead of having to live with yourself, your mind once again provides you with that thought that there is still time to make change.
Many times there is, many times you get gived opportunites to redeem yourself, to prove yourself,
all that hurting would somehow pay off..
But also many times you are left there,
Just left sitting in that lolly store, not moving from that chair.
Growing old, changing as a person.
Watching the world go past but not taking nothing in.
